Charged energetic disturbance that follows certain treatments as practicioner

[Robin]

Hello, I have been practicing shiatsu and working as a therapist for a long time, and for several years now I have also been teaching within a school. I would like to share an experience, and perhaps some practitioners have had similar experiences.

After certain treatments, or when working with people who are (traumatically) burdened, I regularly experience the same phenomenon. Sometimes this happens with patients who suffer from deep depression, severe burn-out, who take heavy medication, etc. But it can also occur during an introductory workshop, for example when I teach for three consecutive days.

What I experience is the following: I feel empty, without strength, and I can hardly describe it in terms of emotions. It is a kind of listlessness. I do what needs to be done, but inside there is an emptiness. At the same time, I become extremely sensitive to stimuli: sounds, smells. This state usually lasts about three days. (Is this Mei-Ken?) It fades very, very gradually—almost as if, from one moment to the next, it becomes a fraction lighter. And on the third day I suddenly feel well again, energetic and as usual.

Sometimes it is so intense that I barely have the strength to walk up a flight of stairs, so to speak. It feels purely energetic.

On the other hand, the more experienced the group I am teaching, the more I experience the opposite: a state of deep relaxation, joy, lightness, and strength.

Has anyone had a similar experience?
Thank you for sharing.

[Wilfried Rappenecker]

Dear Robin,
Thank you for starting this exchange. And I dearly hope that some other practitioners and teachers will contribute with their own experiences in treatement and teaching. I believe that what you describe is not uncommon.
Wilfried

[JennyP]

Hi Robin, it’s interesting that I just remembered to check the forum again and then read your post.

I’m going through something similar at the moment.

I’ve been treating a lot of people these past few weeks, including a client with severe depression. At the beginning of our sessions, she described herself as feeling closer to death than to life. I treated her twice a week, and overall, she’s stable again now. Now I feel similarly to how you describe it.

Quite empty, sad, I have little energy, and I also feel a certain hopelessness. I’m withdrawing and have canceled my appointments this week.

I’m already looking forward to hearing about other people’s experiences and possible solutions… All the best, Jenny

[Robin]

Hallo Jenny, Thank you for your response. I get the impression that there are certain similarities between what you describe and what I experience. What may not be unimportant to mention is that I have always — even before I started practicing shiatsu, since childhood – been very sensitive to noise, tension, smells, and atmospheres. That is why it’s interesting for me to ask you: are you also so finely sensitive (or highly sensitive)? I wonder whether people who are less sensitive would experience these symptoms less intensely.

That hopelessness you speak of is something I also experience when I’m in the situation you described. For me it feels not only like hopelessness, but also like a form of lethargy, without energy (completely kyo). I once described it as: this must be how someone who is dying feels – no energy left and completely empty.

[Wilfried Rappenecker]

Dear Robin,

I have now waited for some time for more answers out of the Shiatsu community. Now I post my answer that I have sent you already earlier via email.

I believe that not only you experience such things, but also many other Shiatsu practitioners experience something not identical but similar. I myself have experienced similar things in the first 10 or 15 years of my Shiatsu practice. It was not as extreme as you describe it, but it made me think that Shiatsu is possibly dangerous and maybe I should give up teaching Shiatsu.

What I did instead: I reduced my work and started to practice Yoga and Meditation regularly, i.e. daily or almost every day. This helped, however, I only could see the effect after two or three years. Then by and by it got better. In my case it was my high tension due to my personality as well as traumatic childhood experiences. On the long run the practice of Shiatsu (this is great help!), Yoga and Meditation proved very effective, although it certainly took 10 to 15 years until it really got better. And I am still working on it, also in the retreat that I attended last fall.

So please allow the questions: Did you seek any professional support, Shiatsu, psychotherapy, medical support or other? Is there any medical diagnosis, that could be related to what you experience? Your experience may also point to a Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which often shows deep exhaustion after even mild activities (so-called post-exertional malaise).

To be honest, I do not know for sure what you experience. However, according to my own experiences in the past I assume that under the influence of teaching and practicing Shiatsu your “system” wants to change, wants to break up old patterns. Teaching basic classes as well as intensive practice experiences have a strong effect of opening the walls and restrictions within us. Every time this happens, the “system” looks for a break to have the space to digest and integrate what is happening. Then for a short time we can feel totally tired or exhausted.
Therefore, if we experience what you describe, we should give ourselves the time for the work our energetic body has to do.

Here are two links (one in German, one in English) to a quite old article of mine in which I describe what practitioners may experience when practicing or teaching Shiatsu. (It needs to be re-edited because I wrote it in the early 90s, when I was still struggling heavily):
https://wilfriedrappenecker.eu/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/WennShiatsukeineFreude.pdf
https://wilfriedrappenecker.eu/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/WRappenecker_When_Shiatsu_Is-No_Fun.pdf

With love, Wilfried

[JennyP]

Dear Robin, dear Wilfried,

Yes, I would describe myself as very perceptive and sensitive. Like you, I’m very sensitive to noises, smells, the atmosphere in a room, etc., which isn’t always easy for me or those around me (I have two small children, and of course, it’s in their nature to be loud sometimes, which often is a challenge for me).

I think I’ve always been quite sensitive, but my traumatic experience certainly amplified this. I think that when the system has been on such high alert, the senses and perception simply become heightened. At least, that’s my impression, my experience.

And I can confirm what you said, Wilfried.

Motherhood drained me a lot in the first few years, (I had to manage a lot alone), so that I experienced severe exhaustion myself two years ago. I couldnt go out of bed for one week. Since then, I have to manage my energy very carefully, otherwise the exhaustion quickly returns.
For me also Yoga helped a lot. But I couldnt integrate it during the day with the kids, and in the eveneing I felt asleep with them, so I got up at 5 in the morning every day to have 1 hour doing yoga. After a few weeks I could feel, that it really had an deep effect on me. So for me 1 hour Yoga was more nourishing than 1 hour more sleep.

And for me also, especially when working with traumatized or very depressed people, I have to be very careful, because I feel they can be like black holes that literally suck your energy out…
Of course, there’s no bad intent behind it, it’s simply energy, I guess.

Thank you both a lot for sharing your experiences.
It rerminds me to take care even more of myself.

Jenny

[Robin]

Dear Wilfried,

Thank you for the precious time you are investing in this exchange of emails, which gives me a great deal of insight. I also thank you for the very interesting article you included with your message.

To answer your question about what I have done so far to improve my situation, which regular practices or other supportive activities I engage in, and whether I have sought professional help, I can say the following:

Over the past twenty years, I have worked intensively on myself in various ways. I underwent three years of psychoanalysis and, over the past ten years, I have regularly been in supervision and in therapeutic conversations with a psychotherapist, through which I have nevertheless gained some insight into my (limiting) patterns. I practice meditation and have always been involved in the world of martial arts. In addition, I practice chi gong and yoga on a regular basis.

For a long time, I have had the impression that there is a wall I never seem to be able to get through.

Recently, after our correspondence in September, I also came into contact with an orthomolecular physician. He conducted a comprehensive blood analysis, which revealed certain vitamin deficiencies and other irregularities. I am currently taking quite a number of nutritional supplements.

In addition, I have had a lung problem over the past five years, which has been improving lately.

With warm and heartfelt greetings,

[Robin]

Dear Jenny,

Thank you for your message. I have been exploring for a long time the difference between high sensitivity as a personal trait and high sensitivity in combination with trauma I have experienced myself. In addition, I am exploring what the practice of shiatsu means for high sensitivity, as I believe it influences how this sensitivity is experienced and expressed.

The combination of high sensitivity, trauma, and the practice of shiatsu forms a distinct situation. Could this be the situation in which one ends up in that complete emptiness, that energetic emptiness and listlessness we are speaking about?

[Wilfried Rappenecker]

Dear Jenny, dear Robin,

Thank you for this very valuable exchange, through which also gain more insight myself! I think you are right that the combination of hightened sensitivity, traumatic experiences and the effect of practicing Shiatsu on the giver may be the reason for the challenges you face. It does not sound like you even consider the option of giving up Shiatsu. This is great, because there is no reason to give up. Life always goes on and you have found and will find ways to deal with this challenge in a fruitful way – that is good for you and for your clients.

Reserving 1 hour in the morning for Yoga and meditation is exactly what I do since about 20 years. This was and is essential for me as it helped my to give Shiatsu and teach. Without I would not have survived. However, on some days I just skip it as it does not feel good to become too correct and always do the right thing:-). Things have to keep flowing…

And yes, working with heavily traumatized people or with clients who suffer from a severe depression (and possibly also those who are in a schizophrenic condition) can affect us very strongly. This is why we have the right to refuse working with them. However, we can also give them Shiatsu and take good care of ourselves. Watching carefully what happens within us and do what is necessary to counterbalance that in the moment it happens and especially imediataly after the session. I always suggest to have a one hour break after working with people who suffer from these problems.

Go on with your Shiatsu! The situation will change by and by and we learn so much about ourselves and about life through these challenges.

Have a happy time, love,
Wilfried

[Robin]

Thank you very much Jenny and Wilfried for this valuable information and exchange. It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only one facing this phenomenon. Thanks

• Diese Antwort wurde vor 3 Wochen, 6 Tage von Robin geändert.

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